Single… again.
Published 1 year, 10 months ago in My life.Yes… me and my boyfriend of six and a half months broke up…
It was an amicable break up, we both knew it wasn’t working, so it wasn’t a huge surprise.
And I would like to say that it’s good to be single again… certainly there are some good things about “singletondom” (as my sister called it)… you can play the computer all day Saturday, you don’t have to make anyone breakfast, and no more twisting your neck at impossible angles when you watch a DVD or movie…
… And there are bad things about singletondom… not having anything to do on Saturday, no one buying your movie tickets and no one’s hand to hold…
… But the worst part by far is the hope… That wretched optimistic discomfort as you sit on the bus, or at uni, or on a park bench, or as you walk around the mall, as you look at shops, as you serve customers at work… the hope that one of those customers, those students, that one of the random people you see will actually talk to you and fill the empty chasm in your life.
It has yet to happen. They never talk. Even if I talk to them first it’s only a conversation… never more. The disappointment is almost constant. Try try again, you say, but it’s like trying to fly. You only end up hurt.
And so, I place my metaphorical gun to the head of all notions of spontaneous romance as I prepare to return to the - albeit effective - “last refuge of the damned”… online dating…
16 Responses to “Single... again.”
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Heya Lady Chaos,
That’s no good. I always used to find that when I first became single, it was like someone had turned my world upside down and nothing was ever going to be okay again. There are many positives to being single (doing you OWN things, when YOU want to), but the first few days are always really hard. Put it all down in writing if your feeling down. You’ll probably be at your most creative. You’ll find that once you’ve come to terms with being single, someone will come into your life when you least expect it. You’re beautiful, young and intelligent, so don’t sell yourself short with online dating. C-ya round. **HUGZ**
Maybe it’s time you started writing music in the blues genre.
A tip, my human dad says if he were a single man he would be laughing, coz he reckons me (shadow) is a chick magnet. Perhaps you might borrow me for a walk one day and see what happens.
One door closes, anothe opens. What was meant to be will be. We have to travel quite a way on the road of life to find out what the hell it is we are looking for. You dont truly develop as a human being until you have had some dissapontments. HEY IS THAT ENUF PLATITUDES.
Just remember, you cant have an expiremental effect until you have played with the independent variables.
theshadow.
Chin up. Choose to be happy. It is a choice. Hey, not all the good blokes are taken, just me… I hope that cheered you up. Being that cheesy comes at great personal expense.
Online dating! Be very careful there. Thats not to say it won’t work but I don’t know how interaction that is not face to face can be trusted. Generally speaking it seems to me that a persons online persona is different from the real life one. I certainly feel able to say more from the comfort of my keyboard.
But good luck and all. If you keep looking there is the chance of finding “the one”. I did and I could not be happier
Speaking of online stuff, have you tried Second Life? I may be a dag, but I like to don my avatar and explore the lindens little world. I noticed that their are married couples there! I don’t know if they are married in reality, it sure would be interesting if it was only in Second Life. Eat your heart out William Gibson!
I found this in a book I have, “GIRLOSOPHY: A SOUL SURVIVOR KIT”…
“heartbreak is a part of life. almost everyone has experienced it at least once and we each react differently to the breakdown of a relationship. you can help yourself get through it, though, if you take it on in a proactive way: REALIZE that whatever is happening (or not happening) is part of the grand plan the Universe has divined for your highest good. DECIDE that you will go through the grief, anger, disbelief and sadness, but ultimately you will recover, to be wiser and having grown. KNOW that love is infinite and you can generate as much as you consume. BELIEVE there are no limits to love, and in the future you will love another person and be loved more than you can possibly imagine. and, REMEMBER not to be so caught up crying over a lost skateboard that you miss the Rolls Royce that’s parking right in front of you.”
I hope that helps! there’s a series of these sort of books, all by Anthea Paul. If you can get your hands on them, they’re great to have. they’ve been a real inspiration and comfort to me in some rough times!
Ohh sweetie i’m so sorry
… I found this in a book I have, “GIRLOSOPHY: A SOUL SURVIVOR KIT”…
“heartbreak is a part of life. almost everyone has experienced it at least once and we each react differently to the breakdown of a relationship. you can help yourself get through it, though, if you take it on in a proactive way: REALIZE that whatever is happening (or not happening) is part of the grand plan the Universe has divined for your highest good. DECIDE that you will go through the grief, anger, disbelief and sadness, but ultimately you will recover, to be wiser and having grown. KNOW that love is infinite and you can generate as much as you consume. BELIEVE there are no limits to love, and in the future you will love another person and be loved more than you can possibly imagine. and, REMEMBER not to be so caught up crying over a lost skateboard that you miss the Rolls Royce that’s parking right in front of you.”
I hope that helps! there’s a series of these sort of books, all by Anthea Paul. If you can get your hands on them, they’re great to have. they’ve been a real inspiration and comfort to me in some rough times!
I’m sorry to hear that, Lady, but you should be the one that fills that chasm in your life. Join a club or adopt a project that lifts you out of your blues. Creative outlets like poetry or painting are probably your best bet.
Then when you’re whole again, you’ll find it much easier to find someone to go out with. Boyfriends should build on your life, not fill in gaps left by others.
Mattl’s right - go do the things he was stopping you from doing.
I don’t think you should trust online dating. Ghodzillah’s right, people aren’t sincere online. Except me, I’m always sincere. Though you can’t really trust that because we’re communicating online. Maybe we should meet. Oh, no, that’s creepy. And I’m married, that’s doubly creepy. Oh, crap, I hope my wife doesn’t see this or I could be single too.
Sorry I can’t help you Lady, I’ve got my own problems.
:) Thanks so much for your kind, helpful advice, everyone, I really appreciate it… It’s nice to know that you care!
I know life will go on… I’m not heartbroken… I know there are many good and fun things to do while I’m single… But all the things that I can do without a boyfriend are solitary, and offer no chance to meet new people (e.g. poetry, art). And my involvement in clubs at uni is dependent upon my cruel uni, work and bus timetable. I have tried before to just enjoy life, but when all my friends (all three of them) are busy (every weekend), there is nothing to do that involves other people my age but doesn’t require one to come already equipped with friends. (e.g. live music).
And online dating is just a way to meet real life people, not to actually interact with them on a long-term basis… It’s basically a singles bar, only with all of the singles and none of the bar. I have tried before to go without it and just “enjoy” single life… and it didn’t go well. But thanks for your suggestions… I will try to find other things to fill my time.
one tid bit …. just be careful out there , especially with internet dating , but dating in general…
Dear “single again”
live a little, you are only 19! and you are lamenting a lost love??? There may be many more of these along your path, these are all experiences in your life and you should learn from each one.
I have been single most of my life (and I am 46 now) and if I lamented evey lost love I had, then I most probably be a sniffling wreck of a person now, but I am not and enjoy being with people and by myself, I have heaps of good friends around me, most of them around my age and most of them single (and not by choice either).
ENJOY life, have a great time, you have a long time to find that “one true love” for you. They do exist.. MY Parents, MY Sister and MY niece are all in very long term and very loving relationships.. I just got singled out
Go forth, stay away from online, its mostly full of “damaged goods” although I did find a gem there and she still is a close friend and let you life take its natural course. Enjoy it while you can.
COCO!
I’m not lamenting a lost love… sadly I am indifferent to the guy, he was nice, we had fun, but it’s over… I’m more lamenting the awful feeling of futile, irrepressible hope that one feels when single.
And for me, meeting people online really is the only way it has worked… waiting for it to happen in real life has just left me disappointed, and worse.
Boyfriends from online dating websites: 4
Boyfriends from real life: 0
I will try to enjoy life… I always do… I just find it easier to do so with someone special to spend time with.
Don’t go despairing. I think that one of the reasons for romance not spontaneously happening in the real world is because most men are terrified of approaching a beautiful young woman, yet alone striking up a conversation. Why do you think liquor companies are so rich?
Nothing wrong with online dating. A mate of mine who owns his own business met a flight attendant online (I think RSVP) and they got hitched six months later. They couldn’t be happier.
:) That’s great news… although it does take the “spontaneity” out of the whole meeting someone process, RSVP does have many good points that meeting someone at random doesn’t. No mismatched ideas of what people want in a relationship.
I’ve now got a new boyfriend from RSVP, and he’s just awesome
Hi….your poems of words and the last one…single..were quite lovely..you speak mostly from your heart…youre very talented..and have many years ahead of you..ive been in your position as well..but at times you must remember why and how you broke up…at times we only think of the good things he did….keep up the good work…i havent seen pirates 3 yet…but the previews look great…x