Poem: Words
Published 1 year, 8 months ago in My life.Words
The words that used to chase around
The silent cinema, the dead fairground
And battle in their futile glory
To tell both sides of a losing story
In simple terms, you put them to death
A fresh surprise, in just one breath
The fiery struggle’s relentless pace
Was chilled and stilled in your embrace
The lies and truths that twisted together
At your command did part forever
The words’ unending duel was ceased
Imprisoned meaning was released
And every fight’s unmet demands
Did turn to dust, touched by your hands
Scheming fury, true resentment
Froze silent into warm contentment
Your perfect sentence said much more
Than all the words that waged their war
And speechless, my fears melt away
With all the words we didn’t say.
For Nick ♥
(C) Lady Chaos 2007
10 Responses to “Poem: Words”
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CHAOS, BEST ONE YET- PERHAPS A LITTLE PRO BIAS HERE.
HOWEVER, AS USUAL, CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING:
LINE 3 DELETE FUTILE
5 SIMPLY PUT- PUT TO DEATH
7 THE STORMY STRUGGLES ENDLESS RACE
11 THE WRODS UNENDING GAME DECEASED
13 AND EVERY BOUTS UNMET DEMANDS
16 FROZEN SILENT IN WARM CONTENTMENT
19 SPEECHLESS FEARS MELT AWAY.
APPRECIATION IS SUBJECTIVE, I MIGHT BE RIGHT/ WRONG.
JUST SOMETHING TO CONSIDER.
AGAIN, LOVED THIS ONE VERY MUCH.
CHEERIO
THESHADOW
PS HOW BOUT YOU WRITE ONE LINE, AND I SUPPLY THE NEXT.
SEE IF IT TRAVELS…
CHEERIO
THESHADOW
sorry shadow, don’t agree
leave it just as is, lady c.
It’s just workshopping vivavoce. Thesahdow may not necessarily be right, just some alternative ideas…
cheerio
theshadow
so you don’t like My poem then???
Absaflaminloutely love your work viv- can i call you viv, i feel i know you well.
Cheerio
and a big lick.
theshadow
call me anything but late for dinner
Hey viv, Lady Diana would be jealous if i took you out to dinner.
Gotta say no. * Grins widely, and chuckles loudly.
cheerio
and a big lick
theshadow
Thanks for the comments!
Theshadow: Thanks for the advice. I definitely like these suggestions:
7 THE STORMY STRUGGLES ENDLESS RACE
11 THE WORDS UNENDING GAME DECEASED
And the others are good, I think they’re as good as what’s in the poem, but maybe not better enough to warrant changing it.
Vivavoce: Hehe… your poetry skills are brill. Especially when they’re saying good things about my poetry skills!
Like that old commercial for uncle sam deodarant said,
NO SWEAT
I hope everybody realises, what theshadow is doing with the poems, is workshopping. This is the way we brainstorm alternative, or perhaps sometimes, better words. etc.
Theshadow isn’t being a smarty party, just enjoying his, and chaos’craft.
cheerio
a special big lick to chaos, and all else
theshadow