Pirates of the Caribbean 3: Thar She Blows
Published 1 year, 6 months ago in Entertainment.When I read the lousy reviews of this movie, I nodded my head, rolled my eyes and thought “Those silly uppity, snobby reviewers, how can a Pirates movie be bad? It’s Pirates!” but oh boy, was I ever in for a surprise. I guess I should warn you now that this review might contain spoilers, but at the same time, the plot was so damn hard to follow that I doubt I’ve spoilt much.
Having absolutely loved the first two movies, I went into this one with a good deal of optimism, but that wore off after the first half hour, and it was in fact the energy drink I’d had before the movie that got me through it without falling asleep from bored frustration.
To start with, Pirates 3 offered no explanation whatsoever of where the story was at the beginning, instantly alienating any first-time Pirates viewers. The plot was more convoluted than the human cerebral cortex, and each scene hung in it like a fly trapped in a spiderweb that has just been tangled beyond repair by a cat. Everything, and I mean everything, was poorly explained, and while I must admit there were a few cool fighting scenes here and there, due to the inscrutable plot, it was impossible to tell who was on who’s side or why.
Also sadly lacking from Pirates 3 were the “little touches” that made the previous two movies (especially the first one) great. For instance, Barbossa didn’t so much as mention apples and Jack Sparrow only said “Savvy” once. Some of the rare comedic moments were good, but others flopped miserably, with not a single laugh being heard in the entire packed cinema.
And perhaps this was my own personal perception, but they took the “soul” out of the Jack Sparrow character. In the first one, the makeup was subtle yet present, it was like “ooh, is he wearing… eyeliner?” but in this one, the makeup was far too obvious. He didn’t make a spectacular entrance like in the first two movies at all, and they bailed out of it using acid-trippy special effects. It seemed as if they had taken any remaining strands of toughness out of Jack Sparrow and replaced them with insanity and confusion, the exact same feeling experienced by the viewer upon watching Pirates 3.
Now, I can’t fault the special effects and costumes (apart from Keira Knightley’s tan), but special effects and costumes alone don’t save a movie with such a baffling and poorly explained storyline that must be endured for THREE HOURS.
In the ubiquitous and unending battle between pirates and ninjas, I think this movie just gave a truckload of points to the ninjas. One and a half stars.
16 Responses to “Pirates of the Caribbean 3: Thar She Blows”
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What a shame!!! Pirates one was my favorite !! Two was a tad disapointing, and I was hoping 3 would turn things around again……….sob*#
Sorry, I found the story farcical, watch it for the action… you will enjoy it at a childish level.
its a movie based on a silly animatronic boat ride ….
what do you expect
Sorry, no comment!
Hey, this was a finely crafted review. Clear, concise and well constructed. I hope you do more.
Perhaps the lady could get a gig as a reviewer for the leader group…
cheerio
shadowmaster
Really?! I saw it last nite and I absolutely LOVED it!!! I was just about wetting myself laughing for the majority of it! I loved the monkey, Captain Jack’s self-hallucinations, all the sea turtle mentions, and the fact that everytime the good Captain ran away, he ran like a little girl!!! No, the storyline wasn’t brilliant, but I didn’t really care! The last time I was that entertained by a movie was Pirates 2, and if they did bring out a 4th, I’d be first in line to see that too!!!
Saw it Friday and thought it was brilliant ! Sure the plot is a bit convoluted but, hey, just enjoy the picture. The costumes and make-up have so much detail. The jokes made me laugh out loud, the special effects are awesome and the action is terrific. People moan that its only CGI but so what, they looked pretty cool to me. Downside, well Cap’n Jack’s reeling walk has turned into something rather effeminate which, together with his refusal to give Miss Swann a farewell kiss, is a bit worrying. Easily compensated for by the ravishing, pouting Keira Knightley.
Not sure what the rating is but don’t take really young kids, the hanging scene at the start is a bit graphic. Go Gold Class if you can to avoid bum ache and, like all POTC films, remember to sit through all the credits to see the little PS at the end.
Downloaded the soundtrack at the weekend to remind myself how good it was.
Hehe… thanks for the compliments! I wish I could be a reviewer… all the more excuse to see movies!
Believe it or not, I did try to just enjoy the action scenes and the sheer coolness of Pirates 3 being a swashbuckling adventure on the high seas - and I’m usually the first to be entertained by that sort of thing - but it just didn’t work for me. The whole time I couldn’t tell who was on who’s side or why anything was happening. And from the looks on the faces of everyone leaving the cinema, neither could they. I guess, from what I’ve read, this movie seems to be like Dr. Pepper - you either love it or you hate it.
Still, I’d definitely see the fourth one if/when it happens!
A great example of hype over substance - only the suckers will pay to see it
And the iPod goes to… Lady Chaos for her contributions to all nookers.
:) Aww, thanks!
I just watched it now and BY GOD! It went on and on and on and on and, well you get the idea. The 1st and 2nd Pirates film kicked ass, but this one was all over the shop
I wish it were a lot better and not such a disappointment.
There she blows alright, last night I watched Pirates and it went on and on and on and, well you get the idea. Such a disaapointing film, although I really liked the 1st and 2nd one.
well the movie mite have grossed millions but truly not the hearts of movie lovers..especially the pirate fans!!well i took the task of watching poc3 again..visual effects are awesome. maybe worth a watch for that atleast!!!
Yeah I second that, the visual effects kicked ass, but they story was a bit of a let down, still worth watching though