Poem: No Pulse
Published 10 months, 2 weeks ago in My life.No Pulse
You told me I should be ashamed
Caught in your headlights,
I believed
You said the light and love I’d given
I had lost,
So I should grieve.
You said I could be right and pure
If I scrub harder,
I’ll come clean
And I could be recalibrated
And run smooth,
Like a machine.
Then ancient ages, teenage phases
Went through my veins
Like blades of razors
Those yellow flames were cellophane
Half the heat and twice the pain
No substitute for roaring blazes.
And oh, my mind did run and play
In hues beyond yellow
And pink
And there, the cool breeze blew away
The thick air,
And summer stink.
Silence was my only language
For what else more hurtful
Could be said?
You were lulled to sleep by your own pulse
It was not mine
For I was dead.
(C) Lady Chaos 2008
7 Responses to “Poem: No Pulse”
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wow, that is a deep one. Can you share your interpretation? Please?
Hmmm… I guess it is a bit cryptic. Here goes:
I had an ex who was, although a very nice guy, overly conservative, and 6 and a half years older than me. He wasn’t happy that I’d had a few serious boyfriends before him (the light and love I’d given), and I think he wanted me to be more “normal” (I could be recalibrated), like he was.
But if anything this only pushed me further away from him (ancient ages, teenage phases) and more towards my own interests. Our relationship, dates, etc (yellow flames) became strained and mask-like (cellophane), hiding the lack of passion and disagreements we were having (half the heat and twice the pain).
To distract myself from the failing relationship, I disappeared into the world of my own imagination (my mind did run and play) where I came up with some of my best poetry, mostly about hopes for better things (the cool breeze that blew away the thick air and summer stink).
We disagreed about so many things that eventually we ended up spending a lot of time in silence (silence was my only language), and any perceptions he had at that stage of me still being in love with him were false (you were lulled to sleep by your own pulse), as my initial feelings for him were gone (I was dead).
Of course, this poem like any of my poems is very melodramatic and only tells one side of the story… to be fair my ex and I did have some great times together and are still good friends even though we didn’t work as a couple.
I chose the picture because it is taken from inside a dark room (the relationship), looking outside at the green grass and nice view (hopes for the future), and I took the photo while on holiday with my ex in the last month or so of our relationship.
I got the idea for this poem months after we broke up when I found his online dating profile specifying that he was now looking for a girlfriend “with a pulse”. I wasn’t offended because for one thing, I don’t know if he was actually implying that I lacked a pulse, and for another, I do rather enjoy being a little bit corpsey.
Hope the explanation helped (and didn’t bore you to death!)
You have grown in my esteem , Lady Chaos. Your prose is not my style but your explanation is clear, forthright and illuminating. Please, when you have the time, give us more.
IS SHADOWMASTER BANNED FROM PUBLISHING…
I DID RESPOND, BUT…
here, here !! Thanks Lady C. I can now read it again and truely appreciate it.
Second try to respond from me too
It is wonderful Lady C - full of imagery and beautiful prose
the background notes are fabtastic too
very talented!! Are you still doing some live performances?
Gadfly
Second try from me too.
Thanks for the kind words everyone!
I’ll probably try and add explanations more often.
Gadfly - yep, still doing live performances at Poetry Idol related events. This tuesday I’m getting paid for it too!
*excitement*. If you’re interested in poetry events, have a look at the website (can’t post actual link because admin thinks it’s spam so I’ll write it out)
double you double you double you dot paradiseanthology dot com.